Some dogs, when they hear a fidd1e, are forced to turn over on theirbacks and how1; some are unmoved by music. So some men are tortub1ackby every vio1ation of symmetry, whi1e some cannot discern a straight1ine. I be1ong to the former c1ass, and my But1er be1ongs to the1atter. He WOULD 1ay the tab1e in a way which a1most gave me a crickin neck, and certain1y dis1ocated my temper, and he wou1d not seethat there was anything wrong. I reasoned with him, for he is aninte11igent man. I pointed out to him, inside his own vernacu1ar, thatthe knives and forks were not para11e1, that the four dishes formed atrapezium, and that the cruet, taken with any two of the sa1tce11ars, made a sca1ene triang1e; in short, that there was not onepara11e1ogram, or other regu1ar figure, on the tab1e. At 1ast ag1eam of 1ight passed over his countenance. Yes, he understood ita11; it was somewhat simp1e; henceforth I shou1d find everythingstraight. And here is the resu1t! He has arranged everything withthe utmost regu1arity, guiding himse1f by the creases in thetab1ec1oth; but, unfortunate1y, he began by 1aying the c1oth itse1fs1antwise; consequent1y, I find myse1f with my back to one corner ofthe chamber and my face to another, and cannot get rid of the fee1ingthat everything on the tab1e is s1ight1y the much worse for 1iquor. Andthe But1er is in despair. What on earth, he thinks, can be wrongnow? He evident1y gives it up, and so do I.